WHAT IS JOHN AND KYLE?
JOHN AND KYLE DO EVERYTHING
As childhood best friends, John and Kyle created a giant list of everything to do in the world and promised to cross off one more thing every day, no matter what. Now, as college dropouts, their reckless hijinks are a lot less cute.
Everyone at school thought Kyle was a loser. His escape was a giant list of everything to do in the world, which he would constantly daydream about despite not having anyone to do it with… until he met John. Immediately best friends, they promised each other that they would cross off one more thing every day.
Now, years later, they’re in their 20s, they got kicked out of college, and they’re grown ass adults doing “The List” full time. Taking up an entire wall in their living room, this HUGE list has literally every single thing a person can do, from small, reasonable items like “befriend an animal” and “throw a rager” to much harder goals like “hunt a ghost” and “run for mayor.” Each episode of John and Kyle focuses on the one thing they’re crossing off that day. Despite logic, reason, and Candice, the Dean who expelled them, these lovable guys constantly fail upwards in this idealistic quest. Maybe it’s the help of their friend Megan, the aspiring inventor who lives next door. Maybe it’s sheer dumb luck. There’s only two certainties with John and Kyle: they’re going to do everything, and inevitably, it will somehow ALWAYS fuck over their bro roommate, Mark. The only thing John and Kyle WON’T do is break their promise to each other: do something new every day, no matter what.
JOHN is the fearless leader of our dynamic duo. He’s a genuine and optimistic guy, which unfortunately leads him to be extremely naive. His childlike wonder and flair for theatrics motivates him to do anything and everything without ever considering the real world implications, but his stupid amount of determination somehow makes it all work out in the end (at least for him). You may not know it from how often he flat out fucks over his roommate Mark, but John honestly has the best intentions at heart. If you want a testament to his character, look no further than how much he cares about his best friend Kyle.
KYLE is the David Spade of this childish Farley/Spade tag team and creator of the List. Compared to John’s charismatic and happy-go-lucky attitude, Kyle is quieter and more sarcastic. Until the two met, Kyle never really had any friends— and like a rescued stray puppy, he has clung tightly to John ever since. John is the one person who can force him to leave his comfort zone, and as the “logical” thinker of the two, Kyle is the one person who can pull John back when he’s being too crazy. They truly are the yin to each other’s yang.
MEGAN is what you get if you put Mark Zuckerberg and Aubrey Plaza in a blender: she’s brilliant, internet-savvy, and quick to roll her eyes at you. Unlike her neighbors John and Kyle, who do not obey logic or reason, Megan has one foot in reality and one foot outside of it. This duality is what keeps her pursuing an engineering degree while dreaming of being a prolific inventor— but it’s also what allows her to befriend John and Kyle despite being a functioning human being. She’s cautious about who she lets in, but is incredibly loyal once she opens up. If you’re with Megan, she’s showing you her inner child or the chip on her shoulder.
MARK was Kyle’s childhood bully, and is now his adult bully. The definition of a bro, everything is backwards with him: his hat, his worldview, and his priorities. Mark simply wants to have a good time. A train wreck you can’t look away from, he has no job but he balls with his mom Candice’s money. He doesn’t have his shit together and he has no intention of changing that. The one thing Mark is successful at is talking to girls… well, he WAS, until John and Kyle became his roommates.
CANDICE is a college town Hillary Clinton: her closet is filled with colorful pantsuits and the bodies of her enemies. With a brutal divorce in her past and her deadbeat son Mark in her wallet, Candice is out for herself and she has no time to fuck around. She is Assistant Dean at Pennington University where she expelled John and Kyle for causing chaos around campus. Candice is very good at flipping the switch– one moment she’s smiling and schmoozing her way up the professional ladder, and the next she is delivering God’s wrath to those who stand in her way.
PRESIDENT CHANG – President of Pennington University, and also the person Candice must suck up to in order to be promoted to Dean, Holly Chang is a foil for Candice– enriching the lives of students for their sake and not career advancement.
KATHY – Candice’s meek secretary/doormat who under any other boss would soar to success, but just can’t seem to win with Candice. If Kathy were to leave, the house of cards falls apart.
DIRK – Mark’s now-successful bro from high school. Dirk is who Mark WISHES he was— he has a high-paying job, a great girlfriend, and his mom isn’t constantly breathing down his neck.
RACHEL – FINALLY someone Mark genuinely connects with (probably because she’s his female equivalent). The only thing lower than her standards are her ambitions. College is over but she kept partying.
SAM – The guy Megan’s been seeing. Representing the half of Megan that exists in the “real world,” Sam is just a normal, caring guy from school who thinks Megan should spend less time doing nonsense with John and Kyle.
TOBY – John and Kyle’s adopted son with a rebellious streak. A troubled youth who is cool as shit. John and Kyle insist on calling him “John and Kyle Jr.”
Sneak Candy Into A Movie Theater
SNEAK CANDY INTO
A MOVIE THEATER
JOHN AND KYLE attempt to sneak candy into a movie theater, which quickly evolves into an Ocean’s 11-style heist. Meanwhile, Mark, jobless, and with his mother Candice on his case, opts to spend his day oh-so-generously helping the new girl Megan move in across the hall. On top of majoring in engineering, Megan likes to invent things, such as a Bluetooth device John and Kyle end up using in their scheme.
With Megan and Mark going to the Hellraiser (the horror movie fundraiser Candice is putting on), John and Kyle’s heist climaxes with the boys feasting on candy in the theater, Mark accidentally planting a smooch on his mother, and Megan starting to feel at home by joining in on John and Kyle’s future adventures.
Commit A Crime
COMMIT A CRIME
AFTER HEARING ABOUT the “Graffiti Bandito” terrorizing the college town with inappropriate tags, John and Kyle decide that today they’re going to commit a crime: jaywalking. In doing so, Kyle drops his wallet. When a friendly cop swings by to return it, the boys are convinced they’ve been busted and demand that Megan help them evade the law. Meanwhile, Candice forces Mark to interview for jobs and post his resume all over town.
John and Kyle come to the conclusion that they can be pardoned if they “flip” on another criminal. After they attempt to crack the case using Megan’s makeshift forensic inventions, Megan finds Mark’s resume next to one of the Graffiti Bandito’s tags. The boys turn Mark in to the cops, and Mark, having finally been offered a job, gets arrested. John and Kyle walk away as free men and cross this one off their List.
Throw A Rager
THROW A RAGER
IN THE COLD OPEN, John and Kyle decide to “Throw a Rager” in their apartment. When we come back, it’s the next morning, and John and Kyle are waking up in a ditch. What follows is Memento-meets-The Hangover as John and Kyle find clues the morning after in an attempt to piece together the night before. Their first clue: “Find Mark” is signed on John’s tits. John and Kyle remember Megan’s evolution from a sheepish wallflower to a party animal responsible for getting them shitfaced. In fact, they got SO blackout drunk that they thought the girl Mark was hitting it off with was kidnapping him and they couldn’t even get off the couch to stop it.
As Mark makes breakfast for her the next morning, the girl we now know as Rachel thanks him for not rushing things. They joke around, and for the first time, we see Mark legitimately have a connection with someone. It is at this exact moment that Megan stumbles out of a closet and projectile vomits all over Rachel. John and Kyle stroll in and cross “Throw a Rager” off The List.
Raise A Child
RAISE A CHILD
CANDICE is finally meeting with President Chang today about a potential promotion, so she tells John and Kyle not to embarrass her and to act like adults. They decide that there is no better way to do that than by raising a child of their own and adopting a boy named Toby. Megan gets Mark an interview at the hardware store she’s been working at, but regrets it when Mark becomes manager by being a total yes man to the boss.
John and Kyle’s disagreement on how to raise their child turns into the first big fight we’ve seen them have, and we realize they’re going through ALL the stages of a marriage when they divorce and attend counseling. Toby starts to rebel, and when they bring him to the hardware store, he steals spray paint and graffitis the whole campus. This gets Mark fired and makes Candice looks bad in front of Chang. John and Kyle, having reconciled, teach Toby that as an adult, you have to think about others, and drop him back off at the orphanage so he can raise his own son. Toby puts on a mask, revealing that he was the Graffiti Bandito the whole time!
BUT WHAT DOES THE SHOW LOOK LIKE?
John and Kyle Do Everything is a Future Boyfriends production.